Sounds From Across The River Jordan..

Can you believe that I found a picture with that caption? How God is that...
you will understand when you read.

I spent some time today with my friend Jean. She had just received some pain medication so she was in and out while we talked. She is much more frail than the other day and the weakness in her body is considerably worse. She laughed but not enough strength to talk, so I talked...... I am good at that. We did not talk about much just chit chat. I sat and watched her drift off to sleep and then awake and smile when she saw my face. I studied her precious face so that when she slips away I will be able to recall that smile.

This is something that is so moving to my spirit man that I do not know what will come from this experience. I kissed her on the cheek when I left and she quickly fell off to sleep. I cried when I left again. Can't help it.

She is more with the Father God than she is here I am sure of that. She keeps hearing chimes. Every once in a while her eyes will open wide and she will look around and she will say........."did you hear that, did you hear those chimes?" It makes spirit bumps run up and down my spine even now. She is hearing something that the others in the room cannot hear. It makes me cry.

Our Father God is so in love with us that the closer we get to home, HE allows us to hear bits and pieces of the heavenly choir. I know this is a fact, I know it. She is hearing sounds from the place where no sin is allowed. Her spirit man is tuned into sounds that only those that will soon walk with HIM can hear. It is sounds reserved for those that are moving closer to the home not made by flesh and blood.

She hears the cymbals or bells played in unison by the angels that continually see the face of the Father. She is hearing the wind rushing through the branches of the tress that line the river of living water.......... She is hearing something. I wish I could hear it with her, but it is reserved only for her spirit man.

I left her not knowing if I will see her again this side of the Jordan River, but with the full assurance that I will walk and talk with her again another day.

Pray for my friend Jean...... Her healing is close.

I Got Chewed Out!

What a weekend....... So busy ........... I will have pictures tomorrow............. Went to see Jean again Monday and we had such a great visit! I thank you for letting me vent the other day, you are wonderful!

Jean was in great spirits and we laughed and laughed and she chewed me out good! She and I have always had such a wonderful relationship. I was her teacher/pastor for several years during the friendship.




She reminded me that the gift that the Lord has given me was not given to be put on the shelf. She told me that she has been praying that the Lord knock me along side the head! We laughed and laughed. Such a beautiful spirit. She made sense and I listened as she reprimanded me.

I do miss teaching and ask anyone around here.......... Ask anyone, I will get started at the drop of a hat!

Anyway, my sadness and anger and questions about why are gone and I know that she is so in Love with the Savior that before her last breath is expelled from her lungs, she will be in the presence of the Lord. What a beautiful promise we have.

I will take to heart what she told me and instead of blessing her yesterday, she blessed me. Isn't that just like the Lord!

On the second note.......We (Chris and Dennis and myself) did 345 shirts this weekend for Special Olympics! I have pictures ! I will share that tomorrow.............


Got to go....... I have shirts to embroidery...... Have a blessed Tuesday.........

I Just Need To Talk.....

I spent 2 1/2 hours with Jean yesterday. It broke my heart but my face never revealed my sorrow. We laughed and cried and reminisced. We talked about the church that we remolded inside and out and we laugh we we spoke of the guys putting up the sheet rock. We talked about the singing and how we miss that today and how the old wooden floor shook as we danced....... I cry now trying to related to you my heart.

I am guilty of one thing here in the blog world. I do not always share all my heart. I keep a lot under wraps for the fear of exposing too much of my heart. I do not know why, it is just the way I am. However, tonight as I sit here sharing with you my visit with Jean I will share a bit more than I usually do.

I am angry and I am filled with sorrow and I have cried a lot today while outside working in the yard. I want to know why she is sitting in that small bedroom in that hospital bed, oxygen tube feeding pure oxygen to her body. She is not able to eat and is down to nothing but skin stretched over bone and no hair but those beautiful eyes have not changed.

She is not able to get up and go freely to the kitchen and make herself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, she could not eat even if she could get there...........

I have prayed, and when she was first diagnosed, I prayed and I have prayed every time the Lord has brought her to mind. I have rejoiced each time the tumor went away. I have thank the Lord for her each time she has called and wanted to know how I WAS!

I am here and well and outside so enjoying God's gift of the day and laughing with my husband and enjoying the presence of my son Chris as the two of them work in the yard, yet I cry.

When I left her yesterday I prayed, but I did not pray for God to heal her, I prayed and thanked the Lord for the gift of her. I prayed and reminded God of HIS promise to walk with us through the valley of the shadow of death. I spoke of the outward man that will perish and the inner man that will grow strong. I prayed............. but I did not pray for healing........ Why? Do we limit God by what our eyes see and is God saddened by that sight that we call reality. I do not know. I am a born again, spirit filled believer in the most high God . I believe that HE does heal today, But I did not pray for that healing for my friend Jean.

The God that made man out of dust , the same God that set the stars and the moon is space and told the earth to rotate on its axis is not afraid of cancer, HE does not tremble at its name. It is no more to HIM than a hang nail but we look it the face of cancer and we fear. I hate that and I cry. I feel guilt and anger and sadness. I feel that somehow I have failed her or did not do all. I am sure that all of these feelings are normal, but to me they are something I have never felt. She is young, only 64. She should have years..........

I cry for Jean, I cry for those here in the blog that are suffering and hurting because of that demon disease and I want to know why when we pray they are not all healed. Why? I do not know, but my Father God loves me enough to let me rant and HE loves me enough to know that my heart hurts and HE loves me enough to know that I do not understand YET I put my full trust in HIM.

The few hours with Jean felt like only a few minutes and the mantle of a teacher that the Lord placed upon my life years ago came to the surface and at one point I was almost preaching and we talked of the things of God. I was her teacher/ pastor for several years and she loves to get me started.

I shared with her the vision that God gave me while sitting in the ER with mother.............. How HE sees the spirit in us and and the spirit in us grows stronger each day as the outward man perishes........... She shouted for joy as it ministered to her spirit man and she cried as she understood how profound that revelation was to her. I touched her spirit...... I cried. I have no understanding of her suffering, but I have an understanding that her spirit is alive today and will be more alive tomorrow. Her spirit man is not sick and grows anxious to see the ONE that gave it life. She is listening for her name to be called by the Savior of her soul.

She is the most gracious women I have ever known and I have never heard her speak one word against another human being. She talks with her hands and even yesterday they were expressive and moving as they always have. She has beautiful skin as she always has and even in her weakened state she is full of joy and faith and hope for her passing....

She is my friend, but more she is a child of God and HE loves her more than I can understand or comprehend. I do not know why, but maybe it is not for me to understand but to just hold fast to the promises that HE has left us. I believe.

I promised her that I will be back on Monday. If she is still her on Monday we will talk and laugh, if she has gone home before I get there, I will rejoice that she is finally healed.



Thanks for listening. I just needed to talk.

Sorrow last for only the night, but joy comes in the morning.

Shalom..............