The Warrior Is A Child

There are just some days when I do not have to be strong....... I think that I try to be strong so I will appear spiritual.......... I don't want to be spiritual, I want to be a child "in" Christ........... I am a dominate personality and that is something that the Lord has really had to work on the past few years... and not to sob out "oh poor me" but the harshness of the world caused me to become far to hardened. I had lived with abuse far too many years before the Lord gave me the gift of Dennis. Maybe over time I will share some of those experiences...

.....I do believe that they have made me stronger, but they also have made me a bit more hard headed. Anyone that knows me will say amen to that..... However, who I was in Christ was buried in the rubble that the world heaped on top of me and the delusions of life that had been put there by the lies of the enemy.

..... When I was born again in 1977, and many years after that when the abuse finally ended I was a trash can full of the world and my Father God had to roll up His sleeves and begin to uncover the Denise that He created. There are things that He must do for us in order for us just to survive and then there are things that He will ask us to do. That is fair, but there is one thing that only He alone can do and that is to return to us our worth.

........There were times before that day in 1977 that I would shake my fist in the face of God and swear to Him that I would never be treated like that again and if He were going to allow it to continue then He was not the God I thought He was...... (I was a lost and undone woman with no idea of who He was anyway, Just a God that I had read about in Sunday School )

..........I searched for worth in so many places and created alter egos so others would accept me that when Jesus found me I had no idea who I was, where I was going or what in the world I was even put here for. He had to sift through the rubble and begin to uncover Denise. He has done a good job, today I know who I am and I no longer need the approval of any man.

......My standing in Christ is just as sure and steadfast when I am sitting in my comfy chair or sitting in a pew... or wielding my sword or just whispering in His ear names of those that need a touch. Who I am is no longer an issue with me as much as where I stand in Christ. It is in the simple gesture of my Father God turning His eyes toward me and my eyes catching His glance that my spirit man is renewed and my worth becomes validated once again..........

......We are human.......... we women were created emotional.......... He knows that......... He expects that............. there is an order for our lives........... first a child of the God....... then a woman....... then a wife..... then a mother.............. then all else........... We need to allow ourselves to be just a child on occasions and lay down the armor ........... and just sit at His feet.................. and I have to remind my self of that pretty often......... I cannot fix anything but I want to ...... I am not the savior or healer of anyone I want to be ...... I cannot be strong all the time, but I want to be............ but I am just me......... and that is ok....... and sometimes I just cry..........

Love you gals a lot....... and pray for each of you today......... that is will be a "child" day........ and you can just rest...........