We were headed home from church and I was giving thought to the word taught that morning. We had been at that church for about 6 months and I knew it was God that has led us there. I was going over in my mind what I had learned or been reminded. It was then that the thought entered my mind that I was changing. As quickly as that thought crossed my mind I heard the Holy Spirit say “ You have no need of being changed”. It was clear and distinct and I knew instantly that it i was the Lord. There was nothing else, just those few words
It was around 10:00 am that morning in the early 90’s, the phone rang and it was from my Dad. I was at work and all I remembered was him saying was "Grandmas house is on fire"... I was at least 30 minutes away and I do not remember much of the drive home. Grandmother was fine and was with Mom and Dad. ( they lived right next door). I had been living with Grandmother for almost a year by then and she was a blessing. Thirty minutes had passed by the time I got home, the fire had been put out and the fire department was just leaving. The fire started in my bedroom and everything in my bedroom and closet was lost. Pictures and jewelry that I had collected from Great Britain and Philippines and Taiwan when I lived there and many items from the year that I had toured Europe. All of the picture of my boys from when they were born to present day were lost. I grieved over the loss of so many things . Precious memories lost.
I walked around the house and then outside and laying out in the back yard was this little table. I cried.
This little table had sat beside my grandmother for as long as I can remember. In the morning it held her coffee cup and throughout the day it held her glass of milk and her package of crackers. It was as familiar as grandmother herself. It was scarred and worn and not much to look at but it had memories that still make me smile.
The firemen had tossed things out in the yard and I guess that is what they do. There were dishes and furniture and clothing items scattered around the yard and as I walked through the burned out items it was overwhelming. I had never experienced a fire before. Years of your life wiped away in an instant and you really cannot even remember what you lost.
When I had walked around and began to grow weary, I headed up to where Mom and Dad and Grandmother were sitting. It was a difficult day. Everything I owned was gone - clothes, books, jewelry and pictures, oh so many pictures. The last 30 years of my life up in smoke. However the little table lay busted with it top split in half and it legs lying loose in the wet grass in the back yard kept coming back to my mind.
The very next morning I went back through the rubble and picked up the pieces of that broken little table. I think I just stored it away for a long time. I do not remember how long that little thing lay broken and in pieces but one day my sister in law Marty came and took that little table and not long after returned it to me restored. She did not alter it or change it, it was brought back to me exactly as it had been all those years. She sanded it down and mended the broken top and fixed the broken legs and attached them back just as they had been. She stained it back to the original color that I remember as a child. It had been restored.
All signs of wear and tear were gone and the effects of the fire could no longer be seen. Restored back to what it was originally created to be. It was just a simple little table, not worth a dime to any passerby, but to me it is a treasure that was broken to pieces.
That was back in the early 90's. Grandmother is gone along with Mom and Dad but that little table sits in my home and you dare not even think of dismissing it. It is my treasure.
Life can be so unmerciful and sometimes we become scarred and worn. We seem to become invisible to those around us and we lose ourselves in the heartache of the past. We are weary and may have lost our usefulness or it seems. We have listened to too many lies and we have altered our lives to fit into what we perceive others want us to be.
We have grown older and tired and of no use to ourselves or others, or so we tell ourselves. We start out with dreams and ambitions and look longingly toward the horizon for those dreams to manifest themselves. The years pass. Many of us have been through the fire. There is a smell of smoke. We stop dreaming - we live each day with regret and hope is a word we no longer have use for.
It would be several days that the story of my little grandmas table would come to my mind. I kept reliving those days after the fire. I kept trying to hear what the Holy Spirit was trying to say to me. I kept moving back in my mind to those days. Then I understood, that little table had no need of being changed, I did not want it changed, I wanted it back just like it had always been before it was tossed away. I wanted to see it and remember it as it sat beside my grandmas chair, not changed but restored.
We that were broken by life or even to this day still broken, have no need of being changed, we have a need of being restored. I do not want to change, I like me, I have always liked me, I am a lot of fun to be around
Life will leave its ugly mark on some of us and we become scarred and broken and wounded to the place that we lose all purpose of living. Day to day without any hope and the dreams of yesterday have faded and we are undone. We have need of being restored, not changed.
We are made in the image of God, He gave us exactly what He wanted us to be; me He gave dark hair and brown eyes and olive skin, and a sense of humor that will keep you laughing. He created my height and the sound of my voice and the personality that I have always loved. He made me perfect and He created me for a purpose. Then life happened.
If you are worn and scarred and tossed aside because of trials that were too tough and heartache that never seems to end. If you have lost your joy and if your hope is a faint memory, you are a treasure in broken pieces. You have need of being restored, not changed - restored back to what the Father saw when you were still in your mothers womb.
If you find yourself at that place I urge you to find yourself a place among the body of Christ that can see the treasure in your brokenness. Find God-loving people that do not wear the black robes of judgment but are Holy Spirit filled people of God that is in the restoration business. They will welcome you home and they will pour the oil of the Holy Spirit on your wounds and they will pray and they will be patient. They will not want to change you but they will speak healing over you and they will allow the Holy Spirit to restore you back to the beauty that the Father God saw when creating you. They will give you a safe place to grieve and heal no matter how long that might take. They will allow your gift to rise to the surface and they will encourage you and rejoice with you as restoration takes place. To be restored not changed. Back to who you are, who the Father sees when He turns His gaze upon you. Restored by the power of the Holy Spirit and the loving hearts of those around you that were once in need of restoration, so they understand.
Be restored back to your purpose in Christ. You are a treasure in broken pieces. Worthy of being whole again.
My heart felt love to the brothers and sisters of FCC church in Sulpher, Oklahoma. They are watching and walking with me through my restoration process. They are a blessing to my life and my husband's life.... What power lies in the body of Christ.
