Monday, October 29, 2007

Faint Not

……It is hard I must admit and to say otherwise would just be dishonest. I woke up this morning and in about 30 minutes I was in tears…(I think I just needed another cup of coffee) Anyway, I am just tired. Now don’t get me wrong, I am not a complainer by nature but there are just days…………Now I can tell you that when reality came knocking at our door and it was nothing like I expected. To make a long story short my mother who will be 88 this December spent the first week of June the third week of June and the 1st week of July in two different hospitals terribly ill. I give all the thanks to my Father God she recovered but due to her lack of strength and the shear fact that they just need help now, Mom and Dad ended up coming into our home.

……. Now don’t get me wrong, I love them with a passion. They are precious to me and I am thankful to my Father God that we are in a place to help. However had it not been for my oldest Brother Paul and his wife Alpha and of course my husband Dennis I would just fold under the pressure. They have been right there from the get go and every step of the way since. After getting her home here with us along with Dad we purchased a gorgeous little modular home and put it about 50 yards from my back door. After about 12 weeks with them living with me and my husband we moved them into their own little house….

…….Although though they live in their own place, there is the cleaning and the medicine and the daily care the just checking on them and overall watching them many times a day just to keep them safe and well. I get tired, me and my husband are very restricted to where we go or when we go… What would I do without my brother…………

Here is the point of my rambling………. My Mom and Dad have 4 children and all 4 of us live near………There is a brother and a sister that also live close… However they choose not to help with the folks... It is sad to me and I do not understand why... When in earlier years after we were all married we would get together at Mom and Dad's for Sunday dinner and have the best times. There would be horseshoes in the back yard and much laughter around the dinner table. I miss those times and I miss my brother Larry and his laughter.

…….I find it hard to watch Mom and Dad grow older before my eyes… I am now having trouble getting Mother to drink enough thus she becomes dehydrated, which brings on a whole new litany of problems. I walk over there every hour or so just to remind her to drink. (She gets mad at Dad if her fusses at her) that works some days but other days she gets angry at me also,,,,,,,, but I still go over there and I still fuss at her…….

.....I am tired, just want to voice that…. My life is not going quite like I thought it would but I think that is why it is called life……..Each night as I lay in bed and talk to the Lord, I thank Him for my health, I thank Him that I have the strength to do what I do and I thank Him for my brother Paul and my sister (in law) Alpha …… I thank Him for my husband that is my soul mate and is my strength when I cry before breakfast… I pray for my sister that stays too far removed from this situation and my brother that seems to have dropped off the face of the earth. I miss him very much.

When I get to the place that I just cannot do it anymore my Father God whispers to me that He has all things in His control.
…. There is one scripture that He gave to me many weeks ago and I etched in my heart……

And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.
Galatians 6:9

I am trying not to faint……………..

Pray for me, pray for my husband ……….Pray for my Mom and Dad……….

Be blessed
Denise


4 comments:

Edge of Design said...

You are so sweet to look after your parents so well. Unfortunately, its common to hear of siblings who don't help out and amazingly have an array of excuses. It has to be trying for you at times though too. Would it help to get a set of two way radios?

Dee said...

Ohhhhhhhhhh, what to say. I pity you and emphathize with you -- you've taken on a huge task. Don't forget to look after your own health-- do what it takes to get breaks. It's so important. On the other hand, I know that you will feel good about your work when your parents are gone. It seems that every family has members who are way too busy to help out, and others who put their busyness aside, by choice, to do what they need to do. Don't forget that your siblings are missing out on this part of the journey, as tough as it is.

Please don't think I'm being trite with my comments -- I'm probably goofing up all that I'm saying. ((( hugs ))) D

Sharon said...

I am here by way of Dee.
I just want to encourage you.
We took in my Father in law in may of this past year. He is 92 and he has some health problems although he is doing pretty good for his age.
My husband has an older brother and sister. The sister lives an hour away and the brother about 12 hours.
We have talked to her and she comes over every other weekend to give me a little break. Although this weekend we will take him to her and have the weekend to ourselves.\o/
The older brother we heard from two nights ago--the first time we had heard from him since June.
All that is to say--I know.
Sometimes you just get weary. And this is a good place to lay it out there.
Make sure you take some time for you and your husband. It is so important.We are learning this-I'm sure you have too.
I will remember you in my prayers.
Sometimes it helps just a tad if you know someone out there is in the same boat as you.
Hang in there.
Don't you just love Dee?
She has a huge heart.

Mary said...

Denise,

You are going through a hard time right now and I'm glad you are keeping your eyes and heart on our Father.

I have been in a similar situation, though it wasn't with my parents - but with my first husband's great-grandmother. I loved Nanny dearly but when she lived with us, she was a handful. A very stubborn woman to say the least.

I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers. I will lift you up to the Father and ask that He send His angels to minister to you.

Blessings and love,
Mary