……It is hard I must admit and to say otherwise would just be dishonest. I woke up this morning and in about 30 minutes I was in tears…(I think I just needed another cup of coffee) Anyway, I am just tired. Now don’t get me wrong, I am not a complainer by nature but there are just days…………Now I can tell you that when reality came knocking at our door and it was nothing like I expected. To make a long story short my mother who will be 88 this December spent the first week of June the third week of June and the 1st week of July in two different hospitals terribly ill. I give all the thanks to my Father God she recovered but due to her lack of strength and the shear fact that they just need help now, Mom and Dad ended up coming into our home.
……. Now don’t get me wrong, I love them with a passion. They are precious to me and I am thankful to my Father God that we are in a place to help. However had it not been for my oldest Brother Paul and his wife Alpha and of course my husband Dennis I would just fold under the pressure. They have been right there from the get go and every step of the way since. After getting her home here with us along with Dad we purchased a gorgeous little modular home and put it about 50 yards from my back door. After about 12 weeks with them living with me and my husband we moved them into their own little house….
…….Although though they live in their own place, there is the cleaning and the medicine and the daily care the just checking on them and overall watching them many times a day just to keep them safe and well. I get tired, me and my husband are very restricted to where we go or when we go… What would I do without my brother…………
Here is the point of my rambling………. My Mom and Dad have 4 children and all 4 of us live near………There is a brother and a sister that also live close… However they choose not to help with the folks... It is sad to me and I do not understand why... When in earlier years after we were all married we would get together at Mom and Dad's for Sunday dinner and have the best times. There would be horseshoes in the back yard and much laughter around the dinner table. I miss those times and I miss my brother Larry and his laughter.
…….I find it hard to watch Mom and Dad grow older before my eyes… I am now having trouble getting Mother to drink enough thus she becomes dehydrated, which brings on a whole new litany of problems. I walk over there every hour or so just to remind her to drink. (She gets mad at Dad if her fusses at her) that works some days but other days she gets angry at me also,,,,,,,, but I still go over there and I still fuss at her…….
.....I am tired, just want to voice that…. My life is not going quite like I thought it would but I think that is why it is called life……..Each night as I lay in bed and talk to the Lord, I thank Him for my health, I thank Him that I have the strength to do what I do and I thank Him for my brother Paul and my sister (in law) Alpha …… I thank Him for my husband that is my soul mate and is my strength when I cry before breakfast… I pray for my sister that stays too far removed from this situation and my brother that seems to have dropped off the face of the earth. I miss him very much.
When I get to the place that I just cannot do it anymore my Father God whispers to me that He has all things in His control.
…. There is one scripture that He gave to me many weeks ago and I etched in my heart……
And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.
I am trying not to faint……………..
Pray for me, pray for my husband ……….Pray for my Mom and Dad……….