Monday, March 16, 2009

A Quick Glimpse

I sat across the little room from her, we were waiting on the Dr to return with her discharge papers. She had come home from the hospital just hours before and now at 3:00 a.m. we were again sitting in the emergency room of the local hospital. Hallucinations , they started Sunday evening around 9:30 p.m. sister Kathy called me concerned. I in turn called home health and their recommendation was emergency room. Could be bad reaction to the new antibiotic or it could be mini strokes. She was worn out, I was worn out, my sweet husband that was sitting outside in the waiting room was worn out. We had been there since 10:30 p.m. and after many more tests and blood test and x-rays and CT scans she was pronounced "just fine", and diagnosed with
Sundowners syndrome.
Have you ever heard of that? I have not, but now I know. You can click on the link above LATTER if you would like to know.
However, although very interesting, it is not the subject of this post.

As I sat across from her in the wee hours of Monday morning, I studied her face. I watched her very carefully and traced with my eyes the lines that the years have etched in her face. My mind drifted back many years ago when a much younger Denise studied the face of another precious little lady by the name of Ida. She was my grandmother, my mothers mother. I remember her face that day as though it was yesterday. I remember the lines that life had also etched upon her skin. I miss her......... but I digress.

Earlier in the evening after bringing Mom home from the hospital and getting them settled in and asking Kathy to stay one more night, me and Dennis settled in for what we thought would be the first quiet evening in a while. We watched the last 30 minutes of some movie and it was the very last 5 minutes of that movie that would moved my soul while sitting in that little exam room at the hospital.
I used to find it amazing when God would do something so strange, but over the years I have come to the understanding that God is God and HE can touch us in such an unusual way that there is no doubt that it is God.

I studied her face. She sat quietly. Mom is a very passive person and even at 3:00 in the morning and after so many tests and long hours of waiting she sat and laughed and talked about times in her youth. My heart broke while watching her laugh and speaking of times that I could not share. She was somewhere else, she was young and running around the old farm house with her brothers Edward and James. Yet the woman that I saw was old and tired and nearing the end of life. It was at the moment that I flashed back to the last five minutes of a movie earlier in the evening. There were about 6 or 7 young boys around the age of 12 and 13 running down a long hall way headed out double doors. They were dressed in jeans and tennis shoes and leather jackets and letter jackets. They raced each other to the doors jumping to see who could touch the ceiling. Laughing and shouting and wrestling each other as they race to the doors. They were young and full of life and laughter. There are no lines of life yet etched on their face. They hit those double doors at the end of that long hall and out into the sunshine they ran. I remember watching them and my mind drifted back to my youth and how simple life was.

It was then that the Holy Spirit exploded in my spirit man these words.

2 Corinthians 4:16 For which cause we faint not; but though our outward man perish, yet the inward [man] is renewed day by day.

As I sat there hearing these words in my inner man I was overwhelmed with the love of the Father. I am thankful that in times of sadness and fear of the future, HE moves quickly to bring comfort.

How can we possible understand the joys that await us, for ear has not heard and it has not even entered into our minds the joys that HE has prepared. Yet, sitting there that early morning HE gave me a quick glimpse into what awaits us. I smiled as I continued to watch her run and laugh and remember her youth, and even in the heaviness of the moment HE brought to me such great light.
HE loves us and HE is ALWAYS closer than then breath that we breath. HE brought great comfort to my heart in an instant.

Our flesh bodies are perishing, we know that, but our inner man, the spirit man, the real us is growing in strength and wisdom and being renewed each day........Renewed how? By the breath of God by the life of Christ...........It is the life of Christ that gave us new life and it is that life that each day renews us......... We look on the outward man.......... HE sees the inner man and HE sees renewal...... HE sees life.
It cause me to cry, HE does not see my mom as I see her, HE sees her young and full of life and vitality and HE sees her renewed and strong in spirit.........

I rejoice in the knowledge that my mom's name is written in the Lambs Book of Life and each day as her outer man withers, her inner man grows strong and when time comes to be loosed from the bonds of this perishing body she will burst forth into the sunshine......

HE gave me just a quick glimpse, HE is a good God.


Diane said...

Wow! Very powerful and thoughtful post. That's all I can say. You said it all. God richly blesses you all.

Denise said...

This was such a lovely post sweetie, love you.

"Just Me - NC Beth" said...

Wow! How powerful! How moving as I read it.....

Thank you Denise for an awesome post!

Blessings, my friend!


ktwalden said...

Such a sweet post about your mom! You are so right...."He is a good God" and a gracious Heavenly Father that always knows just the right promise to remind His children about to allow them to receive that matchless grace and sustaining comfort!

What a blessing your words were today!

Mary Isabella and Kiley too! said...

I read every word of this wonderful post. I can tell it was so from your heart...Hugs..m.

Maxine said...

You touched my heart, Denise. Brought back many precious, though hurtful, memories. God bless you, friend. Hope you're feeling better.

Donetta said...

yes, oh yes He is a very good Poppa

BittersweetPunkin said...

This is a very lovely and moving DH and I sometimes long for days gone by when we find that time is just passing by too quickly....but we know...there is a PLAN for us...and we can only go forward.

My own mother seems to be aging right before my eyes and each time she tells me of a new limitation she has I an in denial for the very strong woman who raised 4 children on her own.

I can only be THANKFUL..instead of regretful. Thankful for what and who God has placed around me. Sometimes I have to remind myself of that.


JC said...

Wonderful post. Thanks for sharing. God is so good even in difficult times

Daria said...

Sundowners syndrome ... how interesting.

What a lovely lovely post about your mother.

Annette said...

I love you Denise.....


I'm having trouble with my e~mail, hopefully I can get it fixed by Friday.

Joyce said...

Very wonderful tribute to your Mother.
Yes these bodies are all failing but...the way I see it is.......
"Absent from the body....PRESENT with the Lord."
So your Mama is going to be just fine regardless....wish my Mama were in a the same position. She's having some tests run even now and if something were to happen to wouldn't be good.
Hang in there......I know it's hard to see this happening.
I just went through this with my friend and she was only 48.
So sad these things.
Be blessed,

Anonymous said...

Tears are pouring down my face. . Oh when she has these moments in her youth. . go run with her, run in the warm sun and be young with her:) Go into her world, it is much easier for her than trying to keep her in your world.
Love you, Hang in there:)

Margaret Cloud said...

WOW what a moving and inspiring post, I loved it, it also made tears come to my eyes, God Bless you and your family, I pray that your mom will be okay. Thank you for sharing this post with us.

Mary said...


I have heard of "Sundowner's Syndrome," as I worked in a nursing home at one time. I'm not sure what your mother's doctor will say, but you may want to see if he/she will put her on 1,000 mg of Vitamin D. Many doctors prescribe it for those suffering from this disorder.

I continue to pray for your family. Be sure to rest when you can, my friend. This is a powerful post.


Jane said...

Denise, I do know about Sundowner's Syndrome. My mother in law had that for a brief time after being in rehab for some physical therapy. It is not uncommon in the elderly. My mother had it too briefly. As I read your words about your mom I was tearful. I lost my mom in September and I miss her terribly. I wanted to share an experience I had just the other day as I was driving home. I was listening to some southern gospel on a CD and the song "Find Us Faithful" started to play. When it got to the last verse the tears began to flow: "After all our hopes and dreams have come and gone, and our children sift through all we've left behind, may the clues that they discover and the memories they uncover become the light that leads to the road we each must find". My mother was such a faithful servant of the Lord and left behind treasures that I discovered going through her things. I praise God for a faithful mother AND dad. She died with Alzheimer's but with joy in her heart and a promise of heaven.

Angie said...

I have a dear older friend who her husband was diagnosed with that a few years ago.

I have thought of you so often...prayers being sent up!

Sharon said...

Thank you for sharing what God blessed you with during your trial. He is a GREAT GOD!!!

P.S. I've never heard of that syndrome either. I'll click on it and read about it.

Sharon Brumfield said...

Thanking God for the way He is speaking to your heart during this time.
Having recently walked through these times with Paw Paw I pray strength for your body and soul....and that you would daily feel the love and tenderness of His heart toward you and your family.

Shirley said...

Denise, I am sorry I have not commented on this post sooner. I don't know how I missed it. . . just read it tonight and I must say that I truly was touched. God does truly speak to our hearts sometimes in mysterious ways. He is so powerful and it is just wonderful to experience His touch. It is sad that we have to go through such painful times with our loved ones . . . but, God is always with us to give us just what we need, whether it be spiritual, physical or both . . . He supplies it. I am so thankful that I belong to Him.

Hugs to you, my special friend

Vicki said...

This is such a good word for all of us, Denise. God is good, indeed, and I'm so thankful your mother's name is written in the Lamb's book of Life - halleluiah. ♥

Thank you for 2 Cor. 4:16 - this verse means so much to me. I just loved reading this post, reminded me of different times when the Lord has given me a revelation of His love - in the middle of a hospital when hubby was having an aneurysm repair, when my own parents were dying, through times of despair and uncertainty when He lifted my head (and heart) to "stand still and see the salvation of the Lord." Oh yes, He knows what we need and I love it when He opens an unexpected window to heaven - what joy and comfort floods my soul. Praying for you and sending my love. What a blessing you are to me. {{hugs}}

Connie@Little Red Hearts From God said...

absolutely beautiful...

and Papa allowed you to see your momma through HIS eyes....

what a gift...

Sandra said...

Beautiful post.

Goodness. I'm so filled with emotion over this post.

I'm glad you and mom and making progress. It's good for everyone!

Hootin' Anni said...

Oh my gosh, I never heard of Sundowners Syndrome. It's so difficult to sit with a parent that has to go through this, and you yourself can't do anything to help...but just be there as they were for you. I know....I've been there with both my parents [now resting comfortably in His arms]

You have my deepest thoughts and prayers.

Sweet Cottage Dreams said...

Denise, I pray right now to the Father to heal the ailments that your family is going through. To take away the frailness and to renew healing. I hope that this comment finds you doing better as well as your parents. I have had bronchitis since January with a flair up after our loss of Jordan. It lingers for months.

Your words are beautifully written and so inspirational. I came across 2 Corinthians 4:16 last night while reading a book on Grieving. It is so true.

Sending you love and prayers,

elaine @ peace for the journey said...

What a rough couple of weeks, Denise. I'm sorry for all of the ills going on in your world. May God give you the strength that you need to see yourself and your mother through to good health.

Praying for you today.


MelanieJoy said...

What sweet tender words you've written of your mom and God's love. Thinking of you. I hope you have a bright and restful weekend.
Love you much!

The French Bear said...

Dear Denise, what a lovely post, it is very hard to have a parent that is ill and yet those moments we get to glimpse into their souls and see the peace and love that will be with them when they reach Heaven gives us peace. I say a little prayer for you each time I read your posts, and I always think of my own Mother.
God is good.
Love you and Bless you!
Margaret B