Sunday, August 17, 2008

Oh No I Didn't

Oh No I Didn't

Oh no I didn't........ I did not, I know I did not do that! Did I ? OMG I did do that! After fifteen, sixteen, or seventeen years I cannot believe that I would even toy with that idea let alone do it............ Nope, I don’t think so...... Why in the world would I do that? I am not that tired! After all it involves another’s life and dreams and future........ Oh no I could not do that!

But I did and I did it a few weeks back..... I remember doing it now that HE mentioned it. I remember saying it out loud to my DH.........What was I thinking........ AND I did it without hesitation and I did not give it another thought until last Sunday. It was last Sunday that my Father God brought it to my attention. I was having an ok Sunday until the Father God just spoke one word! OMG, Compromise. How could I have done that?

I compromised something that I have been praying for these many years ! Oh my gosh how easily we can be lulled to sleep .........

For the past 15 years or so I have been praying for a very very specific thing. When I first started praying it was a "casual prayer" and it was something that I wanted to start doing for another person. I need to pray into their lives wisdom and understanding. I wanted this person to have eyes wide open as they made decisions for their lives. Thus it was about 15 years ago that I began to pray a very specific request from God. I wrote scripture on 3 x 5 cards and carried them with me and every once in a while I would take one of the cards out and pray the scripture that applied to my request. I studied the word of God and made sure that I was not praying amiss and that what I was praying was in line with the word, and so I prayed. ,

Jam 5:16
Confess [your] faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.

As the years passed on I began to pray with a little more feverency. I felt that there was an urgency after 10 years or so and it sure was not that the Father God did not hear...... so it must be that I needed to pray with a bit more "guts" so to speak, and so I prayed more gusty. (Is that a word?) So for the past 3 to five years I have prayed with ferverancy. There were times that I could see the answer with spiritual eyes getting so close and then something would happen and the enemy would throw a wrench into the works and here we go again and my spiritual vision would be fuzzy and I would have to move back into faith without seeing......... I was growing weary of that but I had no choice, I continued to pray. Now I wish that I could share with you what I am talking about but it is not important that you know, I just want you to understand that we do not have to let go of our dreams and our desires and we need to hold fast to those things that we have placed in the Fathers hands.

This circumstance is that of another person and I have prayed and prayed and believed and bound the enemy and loosed the Holy Sprit..... I have paced my halls and walked around my yard with the constant prayer on my lips....... I know that I know that I know that the Father God has heard, and if HE has heard then HE will answer. This is the confidence that I have. That is a promise from the word of God..........

1Jo 5:14

And this is the confidence that we have in him, that, if we ask any thing according to his will, he heareth us:

1Jo 5:15

And if we know that he hear us, whatsoever we ask, we know that we have the petitions that we desired of him.

BUT!!!!!!!!!!!!! Here is what I did........ a few weeks ago now I was musing over this situation and I said out loud to my DH........ I guess this is something that is just not going to change and I guess this is not so bad......Maybe I need to resign myself to this and understand that it will be ok! I said that! After 15 or 16 years of praying and believing........ OMG........... I compromised my faith and I compromised the years that I have prayed. compromise says that second best is good enough and that God is not good for HIS word. No matter how long it takes or what we see with our eyes we should never compromise our faith.

The Father God brought this to my attention a few days ago and OMG.........My heart broke and I cried. Oh not because my Father had to chastise me , but that the person that I have been standing in the gap for all these years is a precious person to me and is so deserving of all that I can fight for. This person has been faithful to me and stood beside me when there was no one else to stand.

How easy it is for us to crumble under the weight of time, and the weight of the unseen answers and prayers that linger for years.

So now the Lord has instructed me that I am not to compromise my faith and that I am to hold fast to those things that I have placed within His hands............ It is a warfare and we are not to grow so weary that we abandon our faith and fail those that we love.......... oh my............. I had to repent......... but now I have to change my strategy.............. I am not sure what comes next but HE is faithful to see it to the end......... My confidence is in HIM and not what I see or feel or fear. I have confessed and repented. I am ready for instruction, I am ready to see this through to it's proper end.

I have cried over this ladies, my heart was broken because of my failure to stand. We are the only thing sometimes that lies between our loved ones and the enemy of their soul. I have renewed my petition to the Lord and once again I am in the gap, and HE will answer.

Hbr 10:35

Cast not away therefore your confidence, which hath great recompence of reward.


elaine @ peace for the journey said...

Like minded in our thoughts tonight. Keep to it, prayer warrior. That person is somebody's child; more importantly, he/she is God's child. Let your weeping find its rest and let your joy come from knowing that you have been a good and faithful friend.


Denise said...

Bless your precious heart my friend. Let God dry those tears, and refresh and renew your heart. You are faithful, keep standing in the gap. I love you my friend.

Mary said...


Keep praying girl. Father God knows your heart and knows that you have shed tears over your compromise. He is there, always, even when we make mistakes. Continue to stand in that gap and you will be rewarded. All things are in His perfect timing.

And to answser your comment on my post, yes, Pea and I are going to meet and I will try my best to remember my camera so I can post photos. ;-)

Keeping you in my prayers.

Tracy said...

(((Denise))) You have such a wonderful heart, and are so wonderfully faithful. Thank you for your honesty, and sharing. The message's you share here are always so strong, and hit many of us i think in a way that is surprising. This message today hit a nerve in me. It is amazing how God will use others, to gently tap you on the shoulder and say listen up! :)

Thank you for praying for my brother in law. I will let you know when i hear anything.

Hugs and blessings.

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

I posted my earlier comment because I thought of a better way to word it.

I don't believe you failed. What I believe if you were just a little discouraged and you voiced it. We all have our moments and thankfully, your moments didn't turn out to years of not praying again because of that discouragement. I believe that God understands and sees the years of dedicated prayer. One brief moment of discouragement does not a failure make!

Anonymous said...

Whoops! See. That should have said I deleted my previous comment not I posted it. Even though I posted it, I deleted it. hahahahah

Anonymous said...

OMG! Thank you cause I need this also, hey God showed me that when I speak negative after seeing no results then it's time to start Praising and thanking Him, cause let me tell you it's right around the corner and the devil knows it. So you repented. . . try shouting praises and give thanks, it's here!! His Word says so. . listen to no other voice. You still have your promise, nothing has changed!!Receive:)Well I guess I'll step down off the soap box now. I also needed that for me:) Have a Blessed weekend:)

Flip Flop Floozie said...

wow!! You just need to keep the faith!! You have prayed and been faithful for all these years..Don't give up now. It took me praying for 32 years for my parent's salvation and it happened...

Praise God!!

Mary Isabella said...

I know how you feel even though we have faith we sometimes grow tried when we pray for someone for years. I too have been doing this for along time band I sometimes want to just let go but like you I cannot for our Lord does not let go of us...You are a good and faithful servant and The Lord will carry you through. I will be praying for you...Mary

JC said...

Denise, I so appreciate your honesty and willingness to share your heart. God always honors a repentant (sp?) and contrite heart. I don't know if this applies to you or not but as I was reading, this thought came to me, "All will work out as it should according to my (God's) perfect timing." That is all, take it for what you can.

I was coming over to thank you for your comment on the Sea of Galilee picture. Sister, we had a praise party on that boat ride. I have pictures of heads back and hands raised giving praise to the King of Kings and Lord of Lord. Thanks for the visit. Grace and blessings to you.

Nancy said...

What a lovely example of transparency and love for another and for our Father. He is faithfulin everything including helping us grow. I needed this as much as you did. I have been praying for lost souls on my family for years and will continue. You have inspired me with this post. God brought me here to read it... Thank you

Sharon Brumfield said...

Boy do I understand this post.
There have been people that I know God laid a particular burden on my heart for them. Kind of like it was my assignment. I remember praying so fervently for them. Then situations would change for the worse and it seemed as if my prayers had gone unheard or unanswered. I know that is not TRUTH.
But, I stopped praying.
Sometimes it would be nice to see the results that I know God wants and be able to move on to something new.It rarely happens that way I am finding.
I have often allowed my heart to grow despondent toward my purpose...laying down the sword and moving on.
Thank you for posting this. It is time to pick the sword back up.

Mimi said...

yes and thank you so much for the reminder that we are to be diligent in our prayers and pray without ceasing...Only He knows what the final outcome will be...
Praying for you and your friend

MelanieJoy said...

Thanks for sharing this...I really needed to here it. You have such a faithful heart to those you love and to a forgiving God you love. I've been praying for someone I love for 9yrs now and have done at times just as you have mentioned.

It's good to hear your "voice" you.

SweetAnnee said...

Just remember this
"your will be done"
and pray without ceasing..

love you sweet Denise..

Joyce said...

Pick yourself back up.....dust yourself off and get back on the track. That's what happens sometimes sadly...we get tired, we get impatient, we just give in and figure......"nothing going to change and I can't change it" and we give up....and you know what....."we CAN'T change it."
However we must continue to "STAND in the gap" because no one else will if we don't on some issues that are near and dear.
You may never see the results of your prayers....not while your on the planet. But that doesn't mean that it's still not going to happen.

Waiting is a hard thing to do......especially when it becomes something like 15 years.

No CONDEMNATION my friend......just pick that "baton" back up and run's okay.

Love Bears All Things said...

Bless you, Sweetie!

I probably won't be spending much time here in Memphis after the 5th of September. That is when I will carry Smokey to Huntsville to the new place. I'm wondering how he'll make the 4 hour trip.

Thank you for your prayers.
Mama Bear

Mary / Mariah said...

I am so greatful for all the people I've found in the blog world that love the Lord our God . Keep praying , I have some things I have prayed for , for many years . I need to remember not to give up . Thanks
God Bless you . Mary said...

Bless your heart! God chose you before the foundation of the World. He knew every thing you would do, every heartbreak,every mistake, sin we would do back then and He still Loves us!! He Is Able!! He is Faithful! Even when we are not.
I almost gave up on my son! We prayed for 15 years for him! It looked dark many times! and now he is a Baptist preacher! Love you dear lady! Grams

Mary / Mariah said...

Love your blog , please come and pick up Your aword . Mary

Mary / Mariah said...

Thank You and your welcome .
Come any time .

Joyce said...

I know God forgives and you will be a better person for getting back praying that pray. I am now in the 15th year of a pray I prayed. God will answer in His time not mine or anyone else.

Love and Hugs,

Tammy said...

You have such a tender heart towards God and for others, dear Denise...the fact that you've prayed as long as you have for that someone proves this...
I've been guilty of not praying with enough fervency for loved ones that I know don't know Him...thank you for this reminder!

Sharon said...

Keep praying Denise! We KNOW God is faithful and that He loves and cares for that person you are praying for. God has picked you up, told you to brush off the dirt, wipe those tears, and get back on that horse.

May God's Peace surround you as you believe and pray!

Chris said...

Denise, You are truly God's precious girl. And you aren't perfect (you're not Jesus!). And I know that you'll continue to be faithful. You just keep going!
Bless your kindness and love.

Mary said...


Be sure to drop over and enter your name in my Harvest Giveaway.

Hope all is well with you and your family.