It is Sunday night and I am just not sleepy so thought I would take the time to post a bit. Just a short post on what the Lord has shown me this weekend...... Friday (the 4th) was a bit too quiet for me and it caused me to be a bit moody which is out of my character! Way out of my character!
You see, I am in a place now that my life is making sense and has for almost 1o years now since the Lord gifted me with Dennis. I am in a large place that the bible talks about and it is all coming together for me. I want to share that with those that I love. I am a VERY social creature! VERY........ I am extroverted to a fault and it is just who I am. I love people and having people around and going out with people and having friend and family over here..... For the past many years I have been the one to have the backyard parties and barbeque's and the Thanksgivings and the Christmas parties and parties for Mom's birthday and Dad's birthday and etc.......... I cannot help myself......... I just love it........
It is how my Father God made me and it is ok. I have tried to stop but it only makes me unhappy. So I continue to try to bring my family together and sometimes it works and sometimes it does not. I usually have my Mom and Dad in mind when I am planning and doing so that they can have all their children around them as often as possible.
Anyway, let me get back on track.
Dennis and I had a barbecue on Memorial day and on Mothers day and then tried to do something for Fathers day ....... so this 4th we decided not to do a thing..... and not a thing we did do..... It was a good day, do not get me wrong but mid day I was feeling a bit blue an missing the sound of other people...... It cause me to be come quiet and let me tell you...... I am not a quiet person....... What my moodiness caused was something that even now hurts my heart.
It caused my husband's feelings to be hurt that I would want to be somewhere else or with someone else........... Oh my, not the case at all........ He is my soul mate and I would lay my life down for him if asked. He is a gift that I never imagined I would ever have, so to hurt him hurts me....... I asked for his forgiveness and we talked and he understands my silly ways.
You see...... The Lord has brought me to this large place and it is my hearts desire to share... I just want to share what God has given. Time with my family... have two brothers and a sister and I would love to see us all in my backyard laughing and enjoying each other as we once did......... and sometime mid day on the 4th those thoughts crowded my mind. If only people would forgive, if only they would see that life is not about things but about sharing and loving without envy or strife for jealousy. I hate jealousy! I hate competition within a family....... If only?
I need no other......... I am all sufficient in Him....... He is my life and the lover of my soul. We seek outside influence to bring us joy, but our joy is made whole when we rest in His sufficiency.It is the joy that we discover when we submerge our self in Him. It is in the knowing Him that causes me to rejoice.
When we allow the actions of others determine our happiness, we will always be disappointed. When we seek for validity from others we will never find true worth in ourselves. It is not from the outward that causes us to be whole, it is from the all sufficient Savior, Jesus Christ.
He is mother and father, and sister and brother..... He is the son and he is the daughter. He is all things to all people and while I sat in my swing on the evening of the 4th and just visited with my precious husband and just had quality time alone, I discovered that, yes I would have liked the laughter and noise of a gathering, but this day alone with my sweetie was ordered of the Lord and it was good............ I was at peace and the joy of the Lord was my strength.
Be joyful whether you be alone or in a crowd........ for there are many that are lonely alone and they are lonely in a crowd.......... They need Jesus........