This is a bit long but I really needed to say this!!!!!!!!!

......I have had a terrible week and I hate to even go there but I am compelled......... I am reading a book that I won here on the blog many months ago......... It is "Humility true Greatness" by C.J. Mahaney. Humility, being humble......... ouch!!!!!!!! I have prayed and asked God to help me to learn to be humble........... I should not have prayed about that.......... and here is why.......
........... Here is the skinny! These shirts that I am making, or should I say have made....... They have been sitting here in the shop for almost a week now and they have cost me much anguish...... Now you might think that is a silly statement but I have such a self esteem problem but over the years my DH has really been helping me.
......... Anyway... if you do not know the process of screen printing I will give you a quick lesson.......
.......... I design the shirt in my computer and I work in Corel 14. I have been doing graphic design and screen print since 1988, so it is not that I do not know what I am doing but in this case you would never know it by looking at these shirts.......
Back to my lesson.......... Once the design is finished in my computer I need to make sure that the colors are sure and able to be color separated to be burned on a silk screen........... That takes a while and for many many years I had my own equipment and did all the work myself but about 4 years ago me and my DH decided to change the process and I would create the design and make sure all was correct and then send to a company in Kansas to do the printing............ That worked for me, as it took away all the mess of the ink and the screens and the cleaning etc.....
..... So for the past 4 years I have used this company in Kansas and we have a great working relationship ...... If there is something amiss in my designs they will call me and we will fix it before the design is printed...........
........... Well I was so excited about the blog shirts and have worked on it for several months off and on to get it just perfect....... I have used a new company in NJ also a couple of times for dark shirts (that is another story) so I decided to use them for my blog shirts........ are you still with me?
........... I have talked to them on the phone many many times about the colors for this design and even ordered one of their printed color charts so that I would be able to see exactly what they were seeing............ All was well............. A couple of weeks ago I finally worked up the courage to send the design to them......... I even called them on the phone two or three times after sending to make SURE that they were are the same page as I was.............
.....Now the process is........ They take my design and color separate it and burn it on silk screens and then they mirror image the design and put it on special paper and send the design back to me on that paper......... I have a machine call a heat press and it gets to 325 degrees and the design is then put on the shirt in 7 seconds........... It works well............... EXCEPT for this time...............
........... The design colors are close but not exact EXCEPT for the hands............ flesh is a terrible terrible color to get right but it can be done........ I have printed flesh color many many times and there is an ink that is perfect............... but they did not use this ink......... they color mixed the ink !!!!!!!!! So....... to make a long story short the hands are a terrible color and there is nothing I can do!!!!!!!!!
Now having said all that I will tell you that for the past week I have debated on sending all the money back......... throwing the shirts away and going with my other company........... but .......... I cannot do either of those things............. I needed to send the shirts and tell all you ladies that I am sooooooooooooooo sorry about those silly hands!!!!!!!! I had contemplated sending emails to each lady that ordered a shirt and telling them this sob story.....My DH has told me over and over to stop worrying about those hands....... they are not that bad..... He loves me and he knows that I am so sensitive about what people think of me...... I do not know if being so sensitiveis a good thing or a bad thing....... but it has been such a mountain in my life...... I just did not want you to think that I was happy with the shirts and that as far as I was concerned they were fine........... I just wanted to let you know that I am so unhappy with them.......... and it is ok if you are not happy with them..........
.......... Sooooooooooo Tuesday morning I got up really early..... ( I think it was the Lord) I could not sleep and went to the kitchen table, fixed myself a hot cup of tea and opened my laptop to read Fox news.......... and it was there that the Lord spoke to my depression and put everything back into perspective.......... and I felt very foolish.................
....... The earthquake in China...... thousands of people injured or dying..... A lot of them are buried alive and will die alone in that darkness.......... I cried as I saw the images of those precious people digging with their hands trying to get to their children in that school...... I prayed for those people and I prayed for those children... What a tragedy........ Then there is the tragedy in Myanmar (Burma) ......... they are saying that 43,000 people dead and over two million homeless and without food............
........... Now here I am early on Tuesday morning struggling as to what you ladies would think of me over ugly hands and those people are dealing with such a tragedy......... then there it is ........ perspective............ !!!!!!!! I had to put this all in perspective.........
I hope you understand that this is something that would have caused me to stop blogging and go away quietly into the night........!!! Now I do not know about you but that is nuts and I need to deal with that!!!
........... The shirts were something that I really wanted to be nice.......... but it is not that important........ they are what they are and I have sent most of them out...........
............I was going to send each of you a little email nice and quiet and no one would ever know except for those of you that ordered.......but I was compelled by the Lord to put it on my blog and deal with the pride of what others will think of me........... It is a lesson that I need to follow through with... I messed up and should have gone with the company that was tried and true......... I did not............ but in the scheme of things............. this is just a pimple on the butt of a tree frog and those of you that love me will just laugh at the ugly hands!!!!!! I ask your forgivness and it will end there............!
........... Now tell me what you really think of me sharing this on the blog........Does it sound silly to you or do you understand? I will be anxious to know................
Also............. over the rest of the year each of you will receive a little something that will not have ugly hands on it!!!!!!!!!!
NOW !!!!!!!!!!! ........ When you get your shirts,,, they have been in the envelope a while and will be all wrinkled up...... take them out and turn them inside out and either put them in the dryer for a few seconds or press them with a warm iron Inside out please ... that will fix the wrinkles.............. but nothing will fix the ugly hands!!!!!!!!! (there are some shirts still out in the shop and will go out Monday or Tuesday so if you have not received yours in a few days...... just be patient....... the ugly hands are on their way!!!)
Love you all and I refuse to let this hinder me and and cause me to take life too serious when it comes to Tee shirts........ and I have humbled myself before you and that is something new for me............
Hugs