Friday, May 16, 2008

UGLY HANDS!!!!!!!

This is a bit long but I really needed to say this!!!!!!!!!




......I have had a terrible week and I hate to even go there but I am compelled......... I am reading a book that I won here on the blog many months ago......... It is "Humility true Greatness" by C.J. Mahaney. Humility, being humble......... ouch!!!!!!!! I have prayed and asked God to help me to learn to be humble........... I should not have prayed about that.......... and here is why.......


........... Here is the skinny! These shirts that I am making, or should I say have made....... They have been sitting here in the shop for almost a week now and they have cost me much anguish...... Now you might think that is a silly statement but I have such a self esteem problem but over the years my DH has really been helping me.


......... Anyway... if you do not know the process of screen printing I will give you a quick lesson.......


.......... I design the shirt in my computer and I work in Corel 14. I have been doing graphic design and screen print since 1988, so it is not that I do not know what I am doing but in this case you would never know it by looking at these shirts.......



Back to my lesson.......... Once the design is finished in my computer I need to make sure that the colors are sure and able to be color separated to be burned on a silk screen........... That takes a while and for many many years I had my own equipment and did all the work myself but about 4 years ago me and my DH decided to change the process and I would create the design and make sure all was correct and then send to a company in Kansas to do the printing............ That worked for me, as it took away all the mess of the ink and the screens and the cleaning etc.....



..... So for the past 4 years I have used this company in Kansas and we have a great working relationship ...... If there is something amiss in my designs they will call me and we will fix it before the design is printed...........



........... Well I was so excited about the blog shirts and have worked on it for several months off and on to get it just perfect....... I have used a new company in NJ also a couple of times for dark shirts (that is another story) so I decided to use them for my blog shirts........ are you still with me?


........... I have talked to them on the phone many many times about the colors for this design and even ordered one of their printed color charts so that I would be able to see exactly what they were seeing............ All was well............. A couple of weeks ago I finally worked up the courage to send the design to them......... I even called them on the phone two or three times after sending to make SURE that they were are the same page as I was.............



.....Now the process is........ They take my design and color separate it and burn it on silk screens and then they mirror image the design and put it on special paper and send the design back to me on that paper......... I have a machine call a heat press and it gets to 325 degrees and the design is then put on the shirt in 7 seconds........... It works well............... EXCEPT for this time...............


........... The design colors are close but not exact EXCEPT for the hands............ flesh is a terrible terrible color to get right but it can be done........ I have printed flesh color many many times and there is an ink that is perfect............... but they did not use this ink......... they color mixed the ink !!!!!!!!! So....... to make a long story short the hands are a terrible color and there is nothing I can do!!!!!!!!!





Now having said all that I will tell you that for the past week I have debated on sending all the money back......... throwing the shirts away and going with my other company........... but .......... I cannot do either of those things............. I needed to send the shirts and tell all you ladies that I am sooooooooooooooo sorry about those silly hands!!!!!!!! I had contemplated sending emails to each lady that ordered a shirt and telling them this sob story.....My DH has told me over and over to stop worrying about those hands....... they are not that bad..... He loves me and he knows that I am so sensitive about what people think of me...... I do not know if being so sensitiveis a good thing or a bad thing....... but it has been such a mountain in my life...... I just did not want you to think that I was happy with the shirts and that as far as I was concerned they were fine........... I just wanted to let you know that I am so unhappy with them.......... and it is ok if you are not happy with them..........


.......... Sooooooooooo Tuesday morning I got up really early..... ( I think it was the Lord) I could not sleep and went to the kitchen table, fixed myself a hot cup of tea and opened my laptop to read Fox news.......... and it was there that the Lord spoke to my depression and put everything back into perspective.......... and I felt very foolish.................


....... The earthquake in China...... thousands of people injured or dying..... A lot of them are buried alive and will die alone in that darkness.......... I cried as I saw the images of those precious people digging with their hands trying to get to their children in that school...... I prayed for those people and I prayed for those children... What a tragedy........ Then there is the tragedy in Myanmar (Burma) ......... they are saying that 43,000 people dead and over two million homeless and without food............



........... Now here I am early on Tuesday morning struggling as to what you ladies would think of me over ugly hands and those people are dealing with such a tragedy......... then there it is ........ perspective............ !!!!!!!! I had to put this all in perspective.........



I hope you understand that this is something that would have caused me to stop blogging and go away quietly into the night........!!! Now I do not know about you but that is nuts and I need to deal with that!!!


........... The shirts were something that I really wanted to be nice.......... but it is not that important........ they are what they are and I have sent most of them out...........



............I was going to send each of you a little email nice and quiet and no one would ever know except for those of you that ordered.......but I was compelled by the Lord to put it on my blog and deal with the pride of what others will think of me........... It is a lesson that I need to follow through with... I messed up and should have gone with the company that was tried and true......... I did not............ but in the scheme of things............. this is just a pimple on the butt of a tree frog and those of you that love me will just laugh at the ugly hands!!!!!! I ask your forgivness and it will end there............!



........... Now tell me what you really think of me sharing this on the blog........Does it sound silly to you or do you understand? I will be anxious to know................


Also............. over the rest of the year each of you will receive a little something that will not have ugly hands on it!!!!!!!!!!
NOW !!!!!!!!!!!







........ When you get your shirts,,, they have been in the envelope a while and will be all wrinkled up...... take them out and turn them inside out and either put them in the dryer for a few seconds or press them with a warm iron Inside out please ... that will fix the wrinkles.............. but nothing will fix the ugly hands!!!!!!!!! (there are some shirts still out in the shop and will go out Monday or Tuesday so if you have not received yours in a few days...... just be patient....... the ugly hands are on their way!!!)





Love you all and I refuse to let this hinder me and and cause me to take life too serious when it comes to Tee shirts........ and I have humbled myself before you and that is something new for me............





Hugs


27 comments:

Denise said...

My dear, dear friend. Bless your precious heart. Mistakes happen, that is part of life. Quit beating yourself up over t-shirts. I do not care one little thing about ugly hands, that does not matter. What I care about, and love very much, is your beautiful heart. Thanks for sharing.

Dee said...

((( hugs ))) Don't worry, PLEASE!!! We'll all laugh about this -- I'm so sorry that you've felt this much pressure over the whole thing. I'm excited to get my teeshirt and I'll wear it proudly. And those hands will make me lose my PRIDE and remember to be humble!!! Great post!! You & I are so similar -- I LOVE everything to be perfect, but hunting for perfection has sent me over the edge too many times. D

Sandi said...

I am so excited and am waiting for my "ugly hands" t-shirt. I know God made it specially for me. I say I have "ugly hands" all the time and my hubby is saying I don't. Just as you dh says the shirts are fine I'm sure they are. I am glad you shared the story behind the shirt. You are so special to God that he gave you this challegne and you rose above it. Thank you for taking time to do shirts.

MYSTI said...

First of all Denise, I want to hug you! (((Denise))) You are a true inspiration to many. If you were to close your blog it would have an impact on many of your blogger friends who care about and love you.

I ordered these teeshirts for two reasons, the first one being it touched my heart and made me instantly think of a dear blogger friend of mine who not only became very important to me in blogger land, but as a true friend in my life. She is a true Christian sister. I love her to pieces.

Secondly the shirts were being made by you. Someone with a wonderful heart, and someone who also has impacted my life with your inspirational posts. The tee shirt have been made with love. Your heart and spirit has gone into these teeshirts making them priceless. I feel lucky to receive the tees.

These words were on my blog today under motivation to live well, and i feel is very appropriate for you to hear them also: Those who succeed rise with each fall. While others in a state of discouragement refuse to move on, for fear that they might fall again. Take God’s outstretched hand, and rely on His strength.

You have succeeded in touching so many lives Denise. I am proud to receive these tees from such a wonderful lady. No matter the state of them. I will wear the teeshirt proudly. Thank you for blessing my life.

hugs and blessings.

Sharon said...

Oh Denise! Bless your dear heart!!!! Please do not worry about the "ugly hands". However, I know what you are going through because I have also struggled with the perfectionist in me. I still struggle with it, but what you said about perspective is so right! In the big scheme of things, who's going to remember these hands? Anyone who will read your post and complain about their tee-shirt has some REAL problems. I am excited about receiving my shirt and can't wait to wear it!!!! Please put your mind at rest about this. We ALL make mistakes. It's part of life. :)
I appreciate you sharing your heart on this.

Love and (((HUGS))),
Sharon

Mary said...

Oh, Denise! You have such a kind soul and spirit. I am so sorry that you had such a burden over these shirts. Mistakes are part of life and we need to learn to accept them. I think satan had a hand in this.

Like you, I like everything to be perfect and yes, if this happened to me I would probably have had a difficult time with it just as you did. You have taught me another lesson today.

Please, never close down your blog. You teach me so much and have became a big part of my life. I need you to guide me and the Lord blessed me when He allowed our paths to cross. Remember what a blessing you are to each of your readers. God has given you this blog for a reason and has sent you to us to be our teacher.

Love you, gal and take care and please think nothing more about the lovely t-shirts.

Blessings,
Mary

Brandy said...

OHH I am not worried about ugly hands!! I know that you worked hard and you did the very best! It is not your fault what another company has done. I know how you feel though I do not like for people to think badly of me either, so don't you dare worry about that and don't stop blogging because of something sill!! I was reading through the comments here and I noticed that a lot of us are little perfectionists aren't we! Take care and I love you and will love my ugly hands! I cant wait!

Sharon Brumfield said...

So here I am.....and I just want you to know that I understand your heart. Anything we put ourselves into we want to represent us and our Maker for the best. He has given us talents and we want to make sure to use them to the best of our ability. I am the same way when it comes to cooking for people. Sometimes things happen and things don't work together the way we want and we want people to know that we didn't just throw things together and not care about the outcome.
So don't worry about the shirts...it is not like we bought a car from you and you messed it up and it won't work. ;)
We will wear them...ugly hands and all. I appreciate your heart and the fact that you did this for us.
That little perfectionist bug gets us all.
I know what it is to want to run and hide-but we are your sisters and we love you 'ugly hands' and all.
We would miss your input here in blogdom.
When I got your email and comment I thought something horrible had happened to you....so I am glad it was just the shirts. :)
Love ya girl

Jane said...

Don't you worry about it anymore. I am sure they will be fine. We are always more critical of our work than others will be. I just appreciate that you have the talent to do this and was willing to share that with the rest of us.
Thank you and I know I will love the shirt!

Linda said...

Hi Denise....I know your tee shirts will be much loved and enjoyed...sometimes things just happen and we have no control over them.
I read the great news about Jean...I'm so happy for her.

Take care...hugs, Linda

Edge of Design said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Edge of Design said...

I deleted my first comment because I had a couple of typos. What I said was I thought that in art there was no such thing as mistakes. I have a funny feeling that if you hadn't said anything, none of us would have noticed. I am looking forward to receiving my Tshirts. Now that you have let the cat out of the bag, it might be a good idea to listen to what your hubby has said and don't fret so much! I know your heart wanted to make the best and the fact that you made anything at all speaks volumes to me.

Connie@Little Red Hearts From God said...

I know that I would fret over it if it weren't just perfect.. and if we could see and be the judge..

but... probably no one will really notice... like you...

ok.. have I covered all the cliche phrases??

Really it will be ok....

tell them.. there is a secret reason behind it that you can't share... yet.. but if they guess, they get a prize.. but think up something...

oh my, this is deteriorating...is it not!!??

I just love ya girlfriend
Connie

Joyce said...

Helo Friend, We now have a collectable t-shirt. Not many people can say that. I am not a perfect person and no one is going to know about the hands since they will be asking about the words on the shirt. I am not going to say any thing unless asked specficly about the hands. It took great courage for you to put your thoughts on the post. What we need to do is plan to wear the t-shirts on the same day and those of us who have one will be united as Christian Women bloggers.

MelanieJoy said...

Denise,
Your post is not silly in the least and I totally understand. You are being way to hard on yourself but I understand that too.
I just love that shirt already because it came from your heart!!!
Your heart and love for Jesus is what makes you so special...love you to pieces! Don't you ever let me hear you say anything about closing your blog...don't make me come up there ;)
Thank you for your prayers about tomorrow....

Deb said...

Hey oh my NO! NO! Are you telling me you are HUMAN?? You crack me up!!
Stop worrying it causes WRINKLES, ugh! Everything will be alright:)
Keep it simple:)
hugs
Deb
p.s. Now I wish I would of ordered a shirt just to see the (ugly hands) lol. . .HA got ya:)

Chris said...

Aww Denise! You remind me of me~~uber-perfectionist. The tees are gonna be wonderful. The hands will be ok. And it really is just a pimple on the butt of a tree frogLOL!
Take care, darlin'

Mimi said...

what is ugly to one is beauty to another...
now I am very curious to see what you consider ugly..is it too late for me to order a tee shirt?
having ugly hands myself I think I would love a tee shirt to equal my own...
if it's not too late tell me where to send the money and I will order one right away.
Love,
Mimi

Cricket's Hearth said...

I so can relate to what you have been going through in the name of "pride". A year ago I was involved in a community project that I had poured my heart and soul into, but some major problems occurred and I could not get them under control and I knew the project was not going to come off as perfectly as I have been known for. As I look back on the entire incident, I am still amazed that I allowed Satan to use my pride to convince me my life was not worth living if I failed at that project. Yes, I attempted suicide. Only by the Grace of God was I not successful. The doctor's were all amazed and said for a spur of the moment decision, I made all the "right" choices for what I wanted to accomplish and could not figure out why I was still alive. I know that it was God's decision. He has my name in His book with a date and that date was not March 20, 2007. I am so happy that He spoke to you and caused you to not end the life of your blog. It seems so many receive so much from it. In case you are wondering, I saw your comment on Joyce's blog and was drawn to come and see what the deal was about your t-shirt. If you have any left over, I would love to have one of your "ugly hands" t-shirts. Just let me know the price and I will send it.

Denise said...

Cricket...... You have no blog for me to respond to or email address..... soooooooo I need you to contact me at my email here on this blog.........

You have a blessed day

Denise

Sandi said...

I received my shirt today. The hands are just fine. I like the shirt and will wear it proudly.

Mississippi Songbird said...

Bless your heart..
You are so right,Dear.. Put things in perspective..
My dear friend's grandmother is dying so thses small things don't really seem to matter, do they.You try your best. You are so sweet. God bless you and lift your spirits..

Vicki said...

Well, my friend, let me tell you, I got my tee-shirts today in the mail and LOVED THEM. I didn't even notice anything wrong! But after reading this, I walked over and picked them up again to inspect the "ugly hands." They're FINE!!! They're not ugly at all! Truly, this is just perfectionism rearing its head, something I'm personally acquainted with...LOL. In my neck of the woods, we call it "a bit of OCD" and just laugh it off, because most people do this about one thing or other. But Denise, the Lord's precious spirit is so obvious in you. We love you, and we love these tee-shirts that you so lovingly designed to knit our hearts together in His love! God bless you. And thank you for being real. That's one of the many things I love about you.

hugs,
Vicki

Angela (Gran) said...

Denise....Thank you for all of the love and skill that you put into our t-shirts. I love mine....as I look at the hands...I will think of how blessed we all are to have you as ine of our sisters.

I will wear my shirt with PRIDE.
It is a blessing for me to have my shirt to wear and share with others.

Have a wonderful day....you are loved and appreciated!
Angela

MYSTI said...

I absolutely love my teeshirts! I think they are perfect, and in no way do they show dirty hands. I am going to wear my teeshirt with pride my friend. In fact now i not only think of the friend i bought the tee for, but you, and every time i wear it, i will be doubly blessed knowing i have such a gifted sister in Christ.

What i saw when i first looked at the hands, were hands of a different color for every single ethnic group out there. Every woman from every race who is a sister in Christ, these tee shirts represent.

Hugs Denise, and ty so much for putting your love, soul, and spirit into making these t-shirts for your fellow blogger friends.

Blessings.

Flip Flop Floozie said...

Don't worry about something that is so trivial!! I loved this blog and I think it is good that you wrote it!! This is not something that i would worry about. i just thought it was nice that you thought to do such a thing for all of us. PLEASE!!! Do not worry about this at all. Give it to God and let it GO!! I like mine!! Sandy

jennifer said...

Denise Honey, I clicked over here to tell you THANKS and that I received my shirt. I didn't even notice the hands! The color doesn't bother me at all and in fact I would like to order two more if possible. If not, well, that's ok too! email me and let me know, ok?

Jennifer
jendt55@yahoo.com